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Post by wakemeup on Dec 31, 2013 17:06:53 GMT
Hmm, is it a character that didn't die, or that died, but you changed the storyline to make him/her survive?
Vernon? Lilly?
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Post by Teacakes on Dec 31, 2013 17:07:41 GMT
Huh?
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Post by Michael7123 on Dec 31, 2013 17:20:07 GMT
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Post by wakemeup on Dec 31, 2013 17:23:37 GMT
Holy shit. Not this guy:
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Post by Teacakes on Dec 31, 2013 17:28:29 GMT
TKA is confused but then again that's normal for him, he's usually confused but still 'TKA is confused'
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Post by wakemeup on Dec 31, 2013 17:35:42 GMT
True, you're are confused really often, lol.
Mike is planning to add another game character into his fic.
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Post by Teacakes on Dec 31, 2013 17:36:28 GMT
Ohhhhhhhhh ok
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Post by Michael7123 on Dec 31, 2013 17:58:13 GMT
Holy shit. Not this guy:
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Post by Michael7123 on Jan 2, 2014 3:26:33 GMT
Chapter 1: In the Water
16 Months later
Clementine looked over at the dying fire, watching the last embers rise from the twigs and sticks burning beneath a weasel Omid shot a few hours ago. She had been sitting next to Omid for hours. At least, that's what she thought. It wasn't easy to keep track of time.
She looked over at Omid, who was staring blankly at the fire. She was starved for any sort of conversation. "Omid, talk to me," she pleaded.
Omid stared down at the ground and sighed. He got up an walked over to the fire, and poked at it with a stick. "Clem, can you give me a hand?" He asked somberly. Clementine knelt on the other side of the fire, placed her head close to the ground, and blew on the flames, trying to breath life into the fire.
"Wood's too wet to burn." Omid said. "It's been raining so much the past few days."
Clementine got back up to take a breath of fresh air and shivered. "I'm freezing."
"It's only gonna get worse when we get to Wellington, and we've still got several months ahead of us."
"Do you think it's gonna be safer there?"
"That's what they say."
Clementine got back down on her knees and grabbed a small branch. She started poking the fire.
"I miss Lee." She said.
Omid looked up at her, his eyes filled with loss of his own. "I know Clem." He replied sadly. After a brief moment of silence, Omid threw another stick into the fire. "I'm going to look for some more wood. Keep the fire lit Clem, I'll be right back." He picked up his rifle and headed out into the woods.
Clementine walked back over to the log they were using as a makeshift bench and opened up her backpack leaning next to it. She pulled out her gun and placed it right beside her, making sure it was never out of reach. After last time, she wasn't going to let it out of sight while she was alone.
She continued going through her pack, pausing momentarily to look at the photo of Lee she had picked up at the drugstore, back when she had just met him. It was times like these when she missed him the most.
She took another pause to look at her second to the last thing she drew at the motor inn, a picture of Katjaa, Duck and Kenny.
Katjaa had always been kind to her, right from the start. She treated her almost like she was her own kid in a lot of ways.
Duck was Duck. He got on her nerves, but he was almost like a brother to her. From everything she had heard, that was part of what siblings did to each other.
Kenny didn't always get along with Lee, but he was a good man. He kept going on after loosing his family. Just like her. Omid... and Christa had told her that he died trying to save Ben's life, that he forgave him for what happened to Katjaa and Duck. She missed him.
Eventually, she found her lighter and put the drawing and photo safely inside her backpack. Clementine picked up her gun and walked back over to the fire- now mostly embers - and pulled a random piece of paper out of her pocket. She used the lighter to set it on fire, and placed it beneath a bunch of mostly unburnt twigs. The fire grew a little bit, but the flames were still too low. She got up and looked around for a log. She found found one right next to the fireplace, and dropped it right into the center of the pile.
As she was putting the lighter back in her backpack, she heard an unfamiliar voice. Whoever it belonged to, he wasn't happy. Clem held her handgun up and looked around, and didn't see anyone. She decided to carefully walk to the voice, or more accurately voices. It didn't take long for her to find three people surrounding Omid.
"There's no way you're out here alone, where's your group?" One of the strange men threatened Omid.
"I'm out here alone! I'm not bullshitting you guys!" Omid lied..
"Yeah right. Cut the shit!" Another scavenger pointed Omid's rifle right against his forehead.
Clementine took aim at the one with the rifle, and fired. She hit him right in the shoulder. She took another shot, but heard a empty click from her pistol.
"AHHHH! MOTHERFUCKER!"
"OMID RUN!" Clementine called out to Omid, who had already grabbed his rifle back and was running off into the forest. Clementine took off in another direction, hearing the several gunshots behind her.
Clementine turned around and saw a scavenger chasing after her. Ducking behind a large rock to use as cover she checked her pockets for any additional ammo. No such luck. She shoved the pistol into the back of her pants for safe keeping.
"Common kid, ain't no way you're gonna... SHIT!" The scavenger called out as Clementine continued running. She slid. Under a fallen treeand her arms made contact with a large branch.
Just have to wait for him to get closer... now! She thought as she got up and swung the branch right into the scavengers face, knocking him flat more out of surprise than anything else. She kept running until she reached a cliff that lead right into a river.
"JUST GO AWAY!" She cried out as the scavenger picked her up.
"THEN STOP FUCKING KICKING!" He cried out as she kicked him. Have it your way. She thought as she sank her teeth into his thumb, and heard him cry out in pain. "LET GO YOU LITTLE BITCH, FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
It didn't take long for her to get thrown to the ground. "Kid, you are on my last damn nerve! Stop struggling." He had her on her back, and he was reaching for her neck. It took all of her strength to keep him away, and he was so focused that he didn't even realize the walker lurking towards them.
But Clementine noticed, and used the last bit of her strength to kick him into the walker. She crawled away as he struggled with his new enemy, and didn't even realizing she was backing up into the cliff until she was over the edge and falling in the water.
Her swimming lessons from years ago kicked in, and she managed to get to the surface, but she was powerless against the tide.
I just need to.. "OH CRAP!" She cried out as she saw the boulder the river was moving her towards, and tried to swim away. All she managed to do was have her back absorb most of the impact. Everything went black.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2014 3:39:51 GMT
only slight laze.also some spelling errors too.
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Post by Bioshock Infinite WD on Jan 2, 2014 4:07:12 GMT
Really Deadwaste? It was pretty good.
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Post by Michael7123 on Jan 2, 2014 4:16:02 GMT
only slight laze.also some spelling errors too. Because you have any authority to speak on grammatical or spelling errors deadwaste.
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Post by Michael7123 on Jan 2, 2014 4:16:21 GMT
Really Deadwaste? It was pretty good. Thank you bio.
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Post by Bioshock Infinite WD on Jan 2, 2014 4:59:36 GMT
Your welcome, I respect fan fic writers a lot, its difficult as hell, but so worth it.
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Post by DomeWing333 on Jan 2, 2014 6:17:28 GMT
Pretty good so far. Killing Christa off instead of Omid is interesting. I wish that you did more with it. Right now, there isn't really looking to be a whole lot of difference between this fanfic and the game itself. I was hoping to see more significant ramifications of this change. Would Omid really have done as well as Christa in protecting Clem and teaching her how to survive? I'd be interested to see more changes resulting from this switch in future chapters. I'd also be interested in an extra chapter that takes place somewhere over the 16 months that kinda shows how a recently widowered Omid would interact with the 9-year-old he still needs to protect. But, yeah, good job so far. And now that I've read and commented on your fanfic, maybe you can go over and check out mine? It's also on fanfiction.net.
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