The most retarded match in all of Salem happened yesterday.
thatstoomuchfestivity stands witness to this.
So, me and n8 decided it was a nice night for some backstabbing and we decided to hop into a lobby of Town of Salem. A custom game. Already, we were greeted with something stupid. A host that was AFK or he simply had no idea how the fuck hosting worked. So some guy in the chat was like 'make me host pls' and he repeated it several times, so we repicked the guy who was AFK and suddenly, some other guy was host. But it wasn't the guy begging to be host. As if we got a choice to who should be the host. And he kept yelling at everyone to repick. Mr. TC decided to just say 'stfu u fuckin noob ill rekt u hard bitch taste my big long dingus'
Okay, I didn't really say that but it was close to what I said. He then complained I was freaking out over a video game and then yelled at everyone because he didn't get his way...... so he left. And the match was going to start.
As for the roles it was like: Doctor, Jailor, Investigator, Medium, Escort, and then 4 mafia, a vampire, serial killer, and some other roles that I don't think were town. I was the Investigator.
Me and dfh15 decided to play as the Night's Watch yet again cause that's how we do. I was Jon Snow and the dhf15 was Ser Alliser Thorne, the backstabbing son of a bitch. But he wasn't going to backstab me this game... or was he?
So I investigated Ser Alliser Thorne, came up as Janitor or Medium, but I was attacked the first night but the Doctor saved me. Some guy named 'Ilovedck' claimed he was doctor, but I didn't really believe him and I just didn't really know yet. Because I was talking in a game that had barely any communication whatsoever, some guy claimed that I was Jester. Night 2, I investigated the guy who called me Jester. He came up as Disguiser or Jester. Since he was calling me Jester for pretty much nothing, I figured he was the Jester.
I told the town he was Jester and he called me the Jester. And then said he was Lookout. Nobody believed him because there was like zero fucking communication. But the Serial Killer had died by the Jailor's hand. And the vampire had been killed as well, I can't remember how though.
Nobody was lynched that day.
The next day, the Jailor killed another baddie. He was a mafia, and another mafia guy died I believe he left the game. Someone in the game congratulated the Jailor again and IloveDck said "your welcome"
Then I recalled back to when I was healed, he had said thank you. He was claiming Doctor. I voted him up to be lynched. Nearly everyone did except for one vote. I asked nate to vote but he just sat back and jerked off or something. He never does anything in Salem. The day ended and I knew I was a dead man. Nate said he was getting water. Fucking prick.
I investigated 'ILoveDck' in case I wasn't going to die. He came up as Spy or Blackmailer. It was kinda obvious what he was. Lied about being Jailor and Doctor? He's bad and he needs to go. I didn't die. I told the good people or whoever was left. He said he was Jailor and kept saying that. Why the real Jailor didn't jail him and kill him you will find out soon.
Me and two other people voted him up. It wasn't enough. This was the time when I started to suspect the N8. What if he was Janitor and not Medium? The damn Janitor didn't do shit entire game anyways. The mafia was all that was left. The day ended, and me getting even more frustrated that NOBODY VOTED THE MOTHERFUCKER UP, even though it was clear as all goddamn day that he was mafia. I was jailed.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, JAILOR!?!?!?!
He asked my role. I said Investigator and posted my will. I told him are you iLoveDck. He said wtf no. Then I said then fucking jail him and kill him.
The night ended and then another townie was dead. There was me, N8, John Hathorne the Doctor, ILoveDck and someone named iLoveNick. At this point I started to piece something together.
ILoveNick - I LoveDck
Could they be working together? My suspicions were confirmed when I voted to lynch ILoveDck. He said that he jailed me and that I told him my role, so I knew IloveNick was the jailor and him and ILOveDck must have been in a skype call. I investigated ILoveNick to be sure and I was right.
The next day, The good ol' Doctah who saved me night 1 was dead. I was sad. He was the only good fucking person left. Now there was just a fucking shitty ass cunt jailor, and the two mafia.
I yelled at the jailor to learn how 2 jailor but he didn't respond. I figured at this moment I had truly lost. ILoveDck said that Alliser Thorne was going to die, and I didn't really care -- he was a bad guy after all. But with this, I had leverage. I told Alliser to lynch ILoveDck and he didn't listen.
You wanna know what the great dfh15 did?
GRAB FUCKING WATER. YOU FUCKING PRICK.
So, while Alliser had his finger in his bellybutton, absolutely nothing happened during the day. The next day, Alliser was dead. And in his will was the entire Night's Watch oath with the last five or so words jumbled into one word so he could fit the entire will in it. I kinda got angry at the jailor and yelled at him some more and then the jailor and the last mafia voted me up.
I told them I did not give a fuck anymore because they were in a skype call. The jailor kept asking me my role. Like that shit would help, you little cheating shitdickbirdfucker.
I told them my role.
The Lord Commander of the Night's Watch and I felt the noose around my neck, and before I died, I yelled 'I LIVE AND DIE AT MY POST' and choked to death.
The game was over.
And we had lost.
To a couple of cheating motherfuckers.
Mafia won.