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Post by visambros on Aug 14, 2014 19:53:21 GMT
Hello guys. It's been a while since I've been on here huh? I just going to tell you now though, I'm probably not going to be active or come on here very much after I post this. I'll tell you guys why later on. But first, the story. I've made a PDF of Real Monsters. I am aware that there are some mistakes here and there, but I'm not going to touch the fic ever again, so those mistakes will just have to be ignored. Here's the link to the PDF
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Post by visambros on Aug 14, 2014 19:58:48 GMT
So, about the reason why I'm not going to be on here much. It's a long story and a bit upsetting, so I wouldn't recommend reading this if you're already having a bad day. This explanation is a part of another message I sent to someone else yesterday. I didn't want to have to type out everything all over again. Anyways, here it is:
What you might not know about Real Monsters is that, around the time I was working on the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th chapter, I decided that I was going to send the story to Telltale when I was done. Not only did I get a bunch of positive feedback from people reading the story, but I also thought it was good enough to be a canon game. That's the reason why I made the revamp, because even though I knew the story was good, I thought the writing had to be better in order to be good enough for them.
There's something you need to know before I continue, because otherwise the impact of what happened might not really make sense. I suffer from very bad depression. It started when I was in grade 8 because of bullying, and got progressively worse over time. Working on Real Monsters was one of the things that helped with that a lot. At first it helped by making me focus on a making a good story and nothing else. But then, when I decided I was going to send my story to Telltale, Real Monsters became my ticket to future happiness. I was going to work of an awesome company, and my story was going to be amazing to play, maybe even better than season 2.
Bad things kept happening to me while I was working on both the original and revamped versions of the story. But no matter how bad things got for me, Real Monsters was my lifeline. It was the thing that always kept me afloat, even when I was absolutely miserable. When I wasn't working on the story, I was thinking about it. It was like this every since day, for an entire year. And it helped me bare my life.
When I finally finished the story for good, I was so nervous about sending it to them, even though I wanted them to get it as soon as possible. I wasn't going into this completely blind. I knew the chances of them accepting the story was slim to none. But not only had I worked too hard and too long to not send it to them after all this time, the only way Real Monsters was going to change my life for the better was if I actually took that risk and gave it to them.
I sent Telltale the story on the 5th of August. They got it on the 6th. From that point on I waited for them to reply to me, though I knew they wouldn't right away because they were so busy. I remember being told some time ago that one of the best ways to show a possible future employer that you're serious about wanting a job is to be proactive. So on the 11th, I emailed Telltale about the story I sent and how if they didn't contact me by the 22th I'd call them about it. A few hours later, a man messaged me back. I'm not going to say his name because I'm not sure if I should, but he's a pretty important member of the company.
He told me that he was sorry no one had contacted me yet. He then said that "game and entertainment companies are un-able to receive unsolicited ideas from the public" because of people getting sued in the past. Therefore, as a protective measure, they weren't allowed to read or view anything the public gave them if it was an idea for a future project. I tried to find a way to bypass this, but the only thing he said would help was if there was an opening for a writing job that I could apply for, but even then they'd only read a bit of it.
I was, and still am, completely crushed my this. It would be one thing if they'd read the story and then said it wasn't good enough. I'd still be hurt but at least I'd know that it was properly reviewed. But they didn't even look at it. They probably opened up the package, realized what it was, and closed it up again without even giving it a chance. All my hard work, all my hopes and dreams, all my mental support, pushed aside so easily because of a stupid rule. And technically, it wasn't even an "unsolicited idea" because I put my contact information and made it clear that I wanted a job. I wasn't just giving it to them for free. But this still happened.
Throughout emails I sent back and forth to the man, I kept trying to hold on to a shred of hope that maybe things weren't completely lost. Maybe the man might make an exception for me and read my story, or someone else would. But in the last message he sent to me, he told me that my package was in the process of being sent back to me, and that he "decided not to interrupt the process".
Throughout all my time working on Real Monsters, I felt as though I was trying to write against a clock I couldn't see, and if I wasn't fast enough, my dream and my way out of the life I was living would be cut off from me. I feel like I've failed to beat the clock. Maybe all of this would've happened anyways, but it's the wording of his last message that makes it hard to accept that. "Decided not to interrupt the process". In one of the messages he sent me, he told me that my message was in the mists of a mountain of hate mail he was getting because of the Sarah situation, and he also said that he almost got fired because he was nice to someone and that person betrayed his trust. "Decided not to interrupt the process"; if I hadn't had all those writer's blocks and gotten my story to Telltale a month or two earlier, would he have decided differently? If the Sarah situation never happened, if he never almost got fired for being too kind, would he have made an exception for me? I can't stop thinking about the what-ifs.
Real Monsters has lost so much of the light it used to have. I think back to it and it just feels bland and stupid and useless. It feels like someone died. I don't think I can stay in The Walking Dead game fandom anymore. It hurts too much and the stress of all the negativity is almost unbearable to take. I used to be a handle it when I thought about my future with Telltale and Real Monsters, but I can't anymore. I don't want to lose the friends I have in the fandom, but they're so tied into the game and my story that I don't know if I can maintain a friendship with them for long.
I knew there was a big possibility of failure, but now that I've failed, I don't know how to move on. I don't know if I can, and honestly I don't really want to. Real Monsters was my dream, all the characters I made up and worked with are so close to my heart, and I feel like that's all been taken from me.
So there you go. That's why I'm not going to be on much. I'm still trying to recover from everything that happened. I hope you all understand.
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Post by IDEK on Aug 14, 2014 20:04:57 GMT
..I'm not really sure what to say about that.
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Post by visambros on Aug 14, 2014 20:08:55 GMT
..I'm not really sure what to say about that. You don't have to say anything, it's fine.
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Post by visambros on Aug 14, 2014 20:17:57 GMT
On a more lighter note, Real Monsters has a Tv Tropes page. So you can check it out after you finish reading the story.
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Post by wakemeup on Aug 14, 2014 20:19:48 GMT
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things in life will get better for you. I know some people with depression, it sucks.
And you should stay here for a while, give this place a shot. We like to think we're better than most of TWDG community.
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Post by visambros on Aug 14, 2014 20:21:35 GMT
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things in life will get better for you. I know some people with depression, it sucks. And you should stay here for a while, give this place a shot. We like to think we're better than most of TWDG community. Thank you. And I'll try at any rate. You guys can't possibly be worse than the people on tumblr.
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Post by IDEK on Aug 14, 2014 20:24:17 GMT
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things in life will get better for you. I know some people with depression, it sucks. And you should stay here for a while, give this place a shot. We like to think we're better than most of TWDG community. Thank you. And I'll try at any rate. You guys can't possibly be worse than the people on tumblr. oh,speaking of tumblr. I saw a post that had us in it on tumblr; and promptly fangasmed.
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Post by DomeWing333 on Aug 14, 2014 20:24:32 GMT
Well, this is a difficult situation. I understand how crushing it can be to pour your heart and soul into a work or endeavor and not have it work out in the way you intended. But it does sound like they're sort of bound by the rules not to read your fanfic. (The "unsolicited" bit I think meant that they didn't ask for or "solicit" your input, you just sent it to them uninitiated.) There isn't really a way around this, I don't think, and honestly making an exception for you might be seen as unfair to others who have tried the same thing. Taking a break from the fandom might be the thing to do, at least for a while. It'll help give you some distance from the pain that you're now associating with The Walking Dead. Give it some time. It might feel apocalyptic now (pardon the expression), but a week, two weeks from now, things might start to calm down a little and you can slowly drift back into the fandom. I know we'd be happy to have you here.
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Post by Michael7123 on Aug 14, 2014 20:26:12 GMT
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things in life will get better for you. I know some people with depression, it sucks. And you should stay here for a while, give this place a shot. We like to think we're better than most of TWDG community. Thank you. And I'll try at any rate. You guys can't possibly be worse than the people on tumblr. We are miles better than the community on tumblr.
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Post by Bioshock Infinite WD on Aug 14, 2014 20:28:26 GMT
Oh man... Visambros.... I don't know what to say... I feel so sorry for you, really I do, just the thought of that happening... it'll be alright, I assure it will get better.
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Post by Rock114 on Aug 14, 2014 20:47:52 GMT
I'm sorry to hear that. As crushing as it may seem now, just trust that one way or another everything will work out in time. It always does.
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Post by Teacakes on Aug 14, 2014 20:48:28 GMT
visambros I am so so sorry. I'm going to send you a PM right now, I'm not sure when you'll get it but I'll send it to you.
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Post by Kat on Aug 14, 2014 22:52:43 GMT
I'm really sorry to hear that. If you can Try not to focus on the what-ifs, that wont accomplish anything but making you feel worse. Also PLEASE don't think that this was your one shot because trust me, someone as talented as you will have plenty of opportunities.
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Post by Teacakes on Aug 15, 2014 8:17:07 GMT
Damn right.
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